CITY AND GUILDS

Watercolour challenge?? Hannah Gordon eat your heart out !

Well what can I say , here I am again unscathed and going for part three, but I think this will have to be the finale. To question ones City and Guild qualification may be a bridge too far, and for once I cannot lay the blame at Barbara's door. Wendy was totally to blame for this adventure into education, and Janette no doubt didn't need much encouragement to join in.

Wendy – " I think we are going to take our City and Guilds."
Me – " That’s nice when do you take the exam?"
Wendy – " It's not just an exam it’s a Quilting Course"

I am getting a really bad feeling about this, why do I think I am not going to like it. Never mind it can't be that bad, a night school course at the local college will be a nice change, give her something to do!!!!!!

You may have noticed by now that I always get it wrong? Suppose I always look for the cheap option like most men do. We are talking residential weekends here at Alston Hall, which is 60 miles away, this is going to cost ME or should I say Templates a fortune. Anyway off they toddle, Jim and me shared the travelling, alternate weekends, - it was tolerable.

12 months and Janette could see that this was going to be no walk over, I think the FELT making finished her off, - like I have had enough of this, or maybe she didn't like being a felt woman. She did have Patchwork Plus to run as well god bless her quilted socks, and like any sane person, jumped ship, - but not the Tenacious Tiger. Like the perverbial terrier dog she was going to see this out to the bitter end.

I mentioned Felt Making just now, well they came back after a Friday to Sunday weekend absolutely wrecked, there are better words to describe their condition but! They looked and felt (pun) as if they had been on SAS manoeuvres all weekend. " What have you been doing " says I with great interest and enthusiasm, " making bloody felt " says she. Oh that’s nice we could do with a new piece of felt on the kitchen table lets have a look - NO. Finally the masterpiece in felt that took all weekend to make is produced – Well laugh, you shouldn't really, it must have been at least one inch square, and I am being generous here. "When are you going to finish it", she was not amused and told me to go away. I was going to enclose a picture of this masterpiece but she has thrown away the evidence, spoilsport.

There is also a great need apparently to express your artistic nature as part of this epic saga to win your C&Gs – well I'm saying nothing, I didn't have to, Son No.1, that’s Graham bless him, said it all, can't think who he takes after? She arrived home with her artistic expressions (paintings), or maybe that should be battle with a paintbrush. Father, daughter and two son's sat round whilst she showed off her artistic masterpieces – BIG mistake. Whilst trying to appear very serious, questions were asked concerning the content of some of the pictures and you just know this was going to lead to trouble, you can tell by the giggling. Then Graham stuck the boot in, well 14-year-old boy's just have a way with words and I don't know of a nice way to put this other than in Cockney rhyming slang, " what's that Richard the Third doing floating down the River ". She was most certainly not amused, " That is a BRIDGE!!! " she informed us, scooped up all the pictures and stormed out. Three kids one dad on the floor, tears streaming, sides aching, I had never laughed so much in years, but did we pay afterwards. There were other instances but maybe enough is enough.

The big day arrived; all the design sheets, set pieces, files etc were set up in an exhibition awaiting the great judgement. Marg (the teacher) finally informed her she had passed - HURRAY!! I won't say she was keen to get away but a short while later Marg came back with a camera to record the achievement for prosperity, too late. Within 10 minutes she had dismantled the lot, packed it in the car and was ready for off. She had attained her well-earned C&G, but I was so very very glad when she said that she was not going to bother with C&G 2.
Well that's it, my trilogy is finished, not quite The Lord of the Rings, well after all I am only a quilters' husband. My trousers are still not fixed, but Graham has grown up in the mean time and I now get his hand me downs. I am sure you all feel terribly sorry for me, so you all need to buy a few more templates and then one day I will finally buy that new pair of trousers.

R Bland Templates