Well I seem to have got away with my last little effort relatively unscathed, so while my luck lasts here is Part 2.

From BT Engineer to Sole Proprietor of Templates, what a leap! But why did they want to involve me in their quilting, surely I would only be perceived as a threat. It was of course my dear friend Barbara who started it all.

a). Alan and Bernie Barmby had been trying for a while to find someone to take over making the Templates.

b). Roy Bland had been for a while thinking of taking early voluntary retirement from BT.

Therefore - Barbara says to Wendy and Janette , "Well Roy's a fussy little so and so, (she didn't actually put it that way, use your imagination), he likes messing about, he could make the Templates" - be nice Barbara! And so it came to be -BUT WHY?

It could also have something to do with the many telephone calls I now receive from Patchwork Plus, and they always start off the same. Wendy - " If you just happen to be passing the shop", PASSING THE SHOP, there is as much chance of me passing the shop as Salmon Fishing on Royal Deeside with Liz Hurley. Well! - I have housework to do, shopping, cleaning, cooking, washing - it's a hard life. Let me explain - passing the shop, this translates into - get off your backside, find the quilt, and bring it to the shop - NOW, who does she think I am - Peter Pan? so you see what they wanted was a dogsbody. I also discovered that Templates was now buying fabric and other quilting goodies from Patchwork Plus, not only that but I was doing it on credit - in Wendy's little Book. This book was part of the buy as much as you like and pay it off a bit each week book, that Wendy has had since Janette started Patchwork Plus. It now seems that I am now responsible for the payments as everything she makes now has some relevance to Templates. She really must think I am Peter Pan

Then there are the Quilt Shows, which reminds me, I was introduced to Christine Porter at my very first Quilt Show, Harrogate 1998, she was Co. Editor of Patchwork and Quilting magazine. What a nice lady, had a chat, pinches a few Templates and then dashes off, well she is busy. Oh! Here she comes again - with a nice young man. Turns out he is the promotions manager for P&Q or some such eminent person - AND - what is more he has had an idea, well they do at that age don't they. He thinks it would be a very good idea to put a 2" Hexagon, FREE, on the front of next months P&Q. So I say, " How many", and he says, "20,000 " and what I said is written down on a piece of paper and has been handed to the Clerk of the Court. Let me explain - I make these Templates by hand, no machines churning them out 100 at a time. It would take 100 sheets of 4ft by 2ft plastic, and take 1000 hours or 42 days to make - well what would you have said - exactly, I rest my case. I must admit Christine thought this very amusing, and I don't know to this day whether she put him up to it, or whether he really was serious. I did however ring her a couple of months later, and told her the hexagons were ready, and that I was going to have them delivered by Lancaster Bomber.

Now on with the Show, what better way to go to a Quilt Show than under the pretext of standing behind a stall, Oh please please don't let us be next to a fabric stall? Believe me Wendy, and the others are no different from any other quilter when they are at Quilt Shows working? Only being behind a stall they have developed a technique I call covert shopping. The phrase Wendy uses is " Its quiet now, I'm just off for a walkabout". She will invariably come back with a little packet, a while later she will casually remember she just needs £10 for the item Templates so desperately needed earlier. Another tack with fellow stallholders after selecting what might be considered too many items "Just keep it behind the stall for me, I'll be back for it later, nudge wink" - like when he's not looking - another £20 out of the till. You meet very nice famous people at these shows, and of course if that person happens to have a new book out! Well they are on first name terms by now, and a signed copy is just a must. After 4 days of this I go home owing money. So you see, indirectly I am now financing Wendy's quilting, and this I think is the main reason I was gathered into the Quilting fold. Maybe I should write a Book? Make a Quilt? - OK maybe not, I'll stick to Salmon Fishing, and as I always say to Wendy "If you could Quilt as good as I can Fish, you would be famous darling". Oh Dear - I don't think I am going to survive that one, but then I am only joking - aren't I - HONESTLY.

I could of course take my City and Guilds, but that's another story!